Targets+What+To+Do



How do you know if you're being bullied? Bullying differs from harassment and assault in that the latter can result from a single incident or small number of incidents - which everybody recognizes as harassment or assault - whereas bullying tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time. So, ...

== What is your advice for targets of bullying? What should they do? Where should they go for help? [| share in the discussion] ==


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**Why Me?**
There are many reasons how and why bullies target others, and the reasons are consistent between cases. There are many myths and stereotypes such as "victims are weak" - which is just not true! Actually, targets of bullies are often strong, independent, and often excel.

Are you a target? Why do you feel bullies have targeted you?
[|share in the discussion]

The bully selects their target using the following criteria:
 * How do bullies select their targets?**
 * bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is usually the main reason
 * being good at your job, often excelling and being popular with people (peers, teachers, coaches, parents, etc)
 * more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear
 * having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise and having a strong sense of integrity
 * having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited
 * refusing to join an established clique or showing independence of thought or deed/refusing to become a clone and/or drone

The Fine Line Between Defending Yourself and Getting In Trouble For Fightingmedia type="custom" key="7111731" width="90" height="90" align="right"
Often times those that are bullied are told to defend themselves, but there is a difference between defending yourself and just plain fighting. The problem is if you are being bullied and you fight to defend yourself, oftentimes BOTH of you get in trouble. So what is the fine line between defending yourself and having confidence and just plain fighting and getting suspended because of a bully?

In the Jr. Grapplers classes have 15 essential techniques they must know in order to defend themselves if attacked. The techniques are all non-violent control tactics designed to minimize injury to the bully if used during a real fight. These classes teach how to thwart an attack using Jiu-Jitsu techniques. The course, teaches the three T's: **Talk** your way out. **Tell** an adult. And, as the last resort, and //only// when attacked, **Tackle** the bully. Then, if the person attacks you physically, grab him in a bear hug and take him down to pin and safely hold until rescue comes. The aim is to provide __self-confidence__ and __self esteem__, and the physical skills for self-defense. Different age groups are taught different techniques.The goal - do not humiliate the bully, but diffuse the problem before it excels.

What is your perspective? Is defending yourself an option, or something that will just get you into trouble? Watch the video for more info.
[|Share your opinion]

Has your experience with bullies effected your health? Share your story.
[|share in the discussion]

Bullying causes injury to health and makes you ill. How many of these symptoms do you have?
 * What does bullying do to my health?**
 * constant high levels of stress and anxiety
 * frequent illness (stress plays havoc with your immune system)
 * aches and pains in the joints and muscles with no obvious cause; also back pain with no obvious cause and which won't go away or respond to treatment
 * headaches and migraines
 * tiredness, exhaustion, constant fatigue
 * sleeplessness, nightmares, waking early, waking up more tired than when you went to bed
 * flashbacks and replays, obsessiveness, can't get the bullying out of your mind
 * poor concentration, can't concentrate on anything for long
 * bad or intermittently-functioning memory, forgetfulness, especially with trivial day-to-day things
 * sweating, trembling, shaking, palpitations, panic attacks
 * uncharacteristic irritability and angry outbursts
 * hyper-vigilance (feels like but is //not// paranoia), being constantly on edge
 * hypersensitivity, fragility, isolation, withdrawal
 * reactive depression, lethargy, hopelessness, anger, futility and more
 * shattered self-confidence, low self-worth, low self-esteem, loss of self-love, etc.



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